Free audio-book download codes! :-)

Happy Fall! If you're in the mood to relax with some funny stories, then I have an audio-book download code for you! The first twenty people to message me will receive an audible download code for my award-winning book "Quirky Essays for Quirky People", narrated by the wonderful actress, Carrie Lee Martz. Don't forget that all of my books are available for free download on Kindle Unlimited. :-)

Quirky Essays for Quirky People:

For the first time, all in one place, the award-winning books A Trip to the Hardware Store & Other Calamities and I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course plus seven bonus essays. What a collection! If this doesn't make you smile, then you're not even trying.

A Trip to the Hardware Store

These humorous essays explore such quirky topics as: disastrous home repairs ("A Trip to the Hardware Store"), an unfortunate dinner party ("Dinner Is Served"), the truth about lazy people ("Lazy Bones"), the weird life of a debt collector ("Your Account Is Past Due"), and obsessions with gadgets ("Gadget Girl"). Other essays examine how surreal the aging process is ("Where Did the Time Go?"), why you shouldn't judge a person by his or her job ("Beyond Belief"), and how to complicate simple transactions ("High Finance").

I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course

A collection of humorous insights into important topics ranging from annoying pet people ("I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course") to analyzing your inner child ("Irrational Fears") to living like the Amish in the aftermath of a hurricane ("A Jolt of Electricity"). Other essays examine just how much damage a sneeze can cause ("It All Started with a Loud Sneeze"), why it is so complicated to buy a tube of toothpaste ("Ask Me No Questions"), how a parent's obsessive hobbies can become an inescapable vortex ("Crazy Hobbies"), and why spending the night in a sleep clinic is like being abducted by probing aliens ("Nightmare at the Sleep Clinic").

If you don't see yourself in each of these entertaining essays, then I'm not talking about you, of course.

https://www.amazon.com/Quirky-Essays-People-Complete-Collection/dp/B00S8O6UIG/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1475246739&sr=8-10&keywords=barbara+venkataraman

Spotlight and Giveaway--"Engaged in Danger" :-)

Check out this wonderful Spotlight of my Jamie Quinn Mystery "Engaged in Danger" and enter the Giveaway on the beautiful blog, Tome Tender. Thanks, Dianne!

http://tometender.blogspot.com/2016/09/barbara-venkataramans-engaged-in-danger.html

  

At a Loss For Words :-D

Can you guess how many words there are in the English language? I bet you can’t. 

According to the Global Language Monitor, the number of words in the English Language is 1,025,109. Even more surprising, a new word is created every 98 minutes for an average of 14.7 words per day. The average English-speaking adult has a vocabulary of about 20,000-30,000 words. For myself, as an attorney, writer, English major and geeky logophile, I like to think I'm above average but, too often, I find I'm at a loss for words. Not technical terms or high-brow concepts, but plain old words. I could blame my age (I just turned 55) or I could blame my iPhone (where Siri is at my beck and call to answer any silly question, day or night), or I could blame myself for not trying hard enough. A myriad of concepts, movies, books, and people have decided my brain was too darn crowded, so they hit the road leaving me with my only two vague and useless phrases: That…thing, you know what I mean and that…guy, you remember him…

 I believe the true culprit is convenience. For example, I remember every important phone number from my childhood, including my grandparents' number--and they have been gone twenty-five years. Today, the only phone number I am confident I know is my own; every other number is stored on my phone. Here is another example, say I want to know the definition of a word I've typed, I can simply right-click on it. What's more, I can translate it into dozens of languages including Hindi, Swahili and Mandarin. Just now, I right-clicked on the word number and learned that its synonyms are: amount, quantity, sum, figure, numeral, digit, and integer. Sure, I could have come up with those words without a lot of effort, but why would I bother? I have better things to do, even if I can't think of any at the moment…

There is a second culprit I blame for my diminishing vocabulary, for rewriting my life story into a mystery I call "The Case of the Purloined People, Places and Things". Rats, I meant nouns, of course. That culprit is the pictograph, a pictorial symbol for a word or phrase. You know them as emojis. The endless supply of clever emojis has led me to forgo words and replace them with pictures: hearts, fireworks, sad face, mad face, caterpillars--you name it, I've used it. If you think about it, the oldest cave painting in the world is 40,000 years old (pre-dating the oldest known alphabet by 36,000 years) and we have been perfecting spoken and written language ever since. Or so we thought. Given my reliance on emojis to communicate, I realize we have come full circle. Maybe there was nothing to perfect, we had it right from the beginning and all this time we have been chasing our tails. I don't know about you, but I feel so much better knowing that I don't need to scrounge around for the perfect word anymore. A symbol works just fine :-D 

My book is a finalist, woo hoo!!

I am very pleased to announce that my Jamie Quinn Mystery, "Engaged in Danger" has been chosen as a finalist in the Chanticleer Mystery & Mayhem Novel Writing Contest! SO excited!

http://www.chantireviews.com/2016/08/18/the-mms-chanticleers-mystery-mayhem-novel-contest-official-finalist-list-for-2016/

Stories from Strange Places--my guest blog-post. :-)

Check out my new guest blog-post, "Stories from Strange Places" on the fun blog, connect.chicklitclub.com. Thanks for the hospitality, Jody!

http://connect.chicklitclub.com/wp/2016/09/05/stories-from-strange-places/

Great interview about "The Joker Journal"!

For those of you not familiar with the creepy indie film, "The Joker Journal", check out this interview and then watch the film--if you dare! It's only 15 minutes long, but it will stay with you longer than that. Ba ha ha!

http://www.comicbookandmoviereviews.com/2016/09/the-joker-journal-heath-meets-clown.html?m=1

Jamie Quinn Collection free on Kindle through 9/5!

Need a book to read? Well, you're in luck! My Jamie Quinn Mystery Collection (Books 1-3) is free on Amazon Kindle through September 5th! 

Here's the link: 

https://www.amazon.com/Jamie-Quinn-Mystery-Collection-Books-ebook/dp/B00NB78KDS/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1472739051&sr=8-1

If you want to follow Jamie's adventures, there's a fourth Jamie Quinn Mystery you can check out:  "Engaged in Danger".

https://www.amazon.com/Engaged-Danger-Jamie-Quinn-Mystery-ebook/dp/B0159LGVHA/ref=la_B007B20LOK_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1472739188&sr=1-2