Who would have thought this could happen to us? An
economic superpower in our day and we never saw it coming. Okay, that last part
isn’t true. They did try to warn us: the botanists and economists, the
climatologists and even those pretentious foodies, damn them! But we refused to
believe it. So spoiled and gluttonous were we that we couldn’t imagine such a
vacuum in our lives, couldn’t imagine that one of our greatest pleasures,
second only to, well you know, could disappear so suddenly, leaving us in a
glassy-eyed stupor.
At first, there seemed to be no cause for alarm. Sure, a
few high-end distributors declared bankruptcy and most of the artisanal
boutiques quietly closed down, but that didn’t affect the rest of us. Even as
the price started creeping up, we took it in stride, still happily gorging
ourselves on a regular basis. Every
holiday was an excuse to buy new varieties created in whimsical shapes or mixed
with exotic flavors like hot chili peppers, spicy ginger, aromatic curry
powders or edible flowers.
People even ate it on insects! Now, why would I make that up? Others drank
it in liquid form; some preferred it melted or frozen. Touted for centuries as
an energy-booster, an antioxidant, and an aphrodisiac, it was all that and much
more. In fact, some of the wealthiest ladies went to luxury spas so they could
bathe in it! Isn’t that decadent? The flavors were so rich and complex that no
scientist ever managed to synthesize it in the lab. Believe me, they tried. If
I told you its name meant “food of the gods,” maybe you could start to
understand the depth of our loss…
In our defense, we had a lot of other problems to worry
about. There were no world population councils back then so people could have
as many children as they wanted. My own grandparents had twelve kids! The population
climbed to 9 billion before we did anything about it. On top of that, the
climate was changing and real estate which had been “underwater” due to the
housing bubble was now literally underwater. Coastal areas were disappearing,
Louisiana was sinking and the popular area known as South Beach was cut off
from the mainland forever. At the same time, countries were locked in a massive
power struggle over the dwindling supply of fossil fuels.
Is it any wonder we paid no attention to those whining
foodies? I mean, they were always complaining about something. If it wasn’t the
shortage of truffle pigs, then it was the ban on pâté de foie gras or the
counterfeit caviar flooding the market. Their concerns were so alien to the
rest of us plebeians that we tuned them out when we really should have listened
to them. Only the Doomsday freaks took them seriously and, naturally, they
started hoarding the “food of the gods” because, well, hoarding was what they
did best. Always preparing for the world to end, they saw no sense in going
hungry while they waited. It was the hoarding that jacked the price up enough
for the world to finally notice.
Outside of our purview, the fragile crops that supplied
the delicious elixir were dying from insect infestation, disease, and climate
change, and demand was quickly overtaking supply. Speculators entered the mix
and real panic set in. It became the hottest commodity in the world, even
overtaking gold. Financial markets were so volatile that in West African
countries, where the crop was cultivated, ripe pods became the new currency,
just like in ancient times. Black markets sprang up everywhere and nobody could
talk about anything else. Elected officials were besieged by rabid voters
demanding immediate action. Riots broke out and the processing factories were
looted for raw materials. Even natural disasters couldn’t distract people for
very long…
I’m sorry, where was I? You’ll have to forgive me but
ever since I reached my 115th sun cycle, my mind has started to wander. Oh,
yes, the governments became involved but of course they only made things worse.
Truthfully, I don’t know if there was anything they could have done anyway. Our
best agri-scientists worked around the clock but, in the end, all they could do
was bank seeds in all of the master seed banks and watch it play out. In only
ten years, all of the crops were utterly decimated, never to return. Even the
hoarders and black marketeers eventually reached their last precious morsels.
And, because they had no choice, the people of the world adjusted, but there
was a sadness that permeated everything, a yearning that would never pass, a
taste that could not be forgotten…
I know you’re wondering why I told you this long story,
especially today, when we should be celebrating your 21st sun-cycle and eating
a feast of the best synth food in town, but you’re my only
great-great-granddaughter and I wanted to give you something really special.
Yesterday, I went to my Cryo-storage unit to get your gift so that it would
thaw out in time. Here, please take this and remember to savor every bite: it’s
like nothing you’ve ever eaten before and nothing you will ever eat again. Yes,
it is a curious shape, it’s meant to resemble an animal that’s now extinct
called a rabbit. I hope you don’t mind if I watch you take a bite, it would
give me great pleasure. Oh no, please don’t cry! Like life, chocolate isn’t
meant to last. Only the joy of experiencing it lingers on.
